An almost completely accurate account of Debens weekend at the Rotaract conference 2006. For those in London, the latest RGBI conference offered a taste of home, with the Ramada Hotel in Watford playing host to the premier RGBI event of the year. Of course, many came from further a field... with over 80 Rotaractors and Rotarians from 16 different districts around the UK and Ireland came along for a weekend of serious fun. John, Michelle and Mark from Deben went down, and met up with their many Rotaract friends from around the country. Many Rotaractors (possibly) wonder about those we elect into high office. "I could never do that job" "they must be very organised and with it"... A phone call to RGBI president, Claire Mercer, at 10pm on Friday night confirmed that she was absolutely almost definitely ready to start packing, to get to the conference for 8pm as planned. She arrived Saturday morning. As did president-elect, Paul Simon. One of Pauls first jobs, after checking into the hotel room he was intending to share with Andy, King of Wales, was to go back to the reception desk and request a change from the double bed.

Those who did make it on Friday, were treated to an evening of silly party games. Cue musical chairs (only a few minor injuries) and a veriety of games with balloons. This being Star Wars Day (May the 4th), Darth Vader made a guest appearence, and started the ball rolling on a 'win all the booze in the hamper' competition. The evening also saw a number of silly wigs. For some reason, there were to be a lot of wigs over the weekend. No doubt there would be a price toupee later.

One noteworthy thing at a Rotaract conference is the clothing. While at a Rotary conference, most people will be in suits, with a few exceptions (all lacking a Y chromosome). At RGBI conference, a lot of people wear jeans, presumably bought at the Watford Gap, and various other attire will be found during the weekend. For example, a kilt (White, with a giant Welsh Dragon) (hail to the King!), several ball gowns (still being worn the day after they were put on, as the wearers don't bother to change following the previous nights gala ball), and the medium sized wardrobe that was Phil Teunons chameleon like quick-change act. This half of the Sergeant at Arms team managed to change his clothes nine times. and that was just Saturday. He and Sarah Bacon welcomed everyone to the conference in their cabin crew persona's (cue 'emergency exits, here, and here' actions). Phil then nipped off to change into his Lord Scrumpy tramps outfit to join Fairy Scrumptious for some early morning fines. Fines, as ever at conference, were to be a regular source of amusement and funds. This is not the last you will read of them.

Following a break for coffee, everyone needed something to wake them up. Unfortunately for them, Michelle of Deben had been hired for the purpose. Walking onto stage in blouse, skirt and jacket, she explained they'd be starting gently with some stretches. As the Superman music starts up, Michelle whips off her skirt and top with practised ease to reveal a Supergirl outfit. As the excersies begin in earnest, Phil (in a move unknown to Michelle) joins her on stage dressed in a lycra jumpsuit. With everyone warmed up and disturbed in about equal measure, the remaining speakers of the morning being.

Over the course of the weekend, the delegates heard from all three charities that money was being raised for. Hearing Dogs for the Deaf (including a demonstration with cute dog), Adoption UK (helping parents and children into their new lives) and CLIC Sargent (supporting families with cancer-suffering children). After a couple of moving talks from the charities, and a brief chat from the local Mayor about the delights of Watford, it's time for another costume change as Phil comes out in a white track suit and excessive gold jewellery. "Now then, now then", and an opportunity is presented for conference attendees to finally have their wish granted, after being unsuccessful in the past. Phil fixed it for Rotarian Kevin Farley to play football with his favourite team... which he did. Granted it was table football, but the plastic players were all very authentic. There were various breakout sessions in the afternoon. These included a walk in the local park (to which people had to drive - all part of the London nature experience), greetings card making (7:2 female/male ratio - lucky guys), kickstarting your Rotaract club (for the swots) and wine tasting. This last was impressively attended, for some reason, and as a result the Rotarians present were soon up to Rotaract standards in wine expertise. They could conclusively tell red from white.

The evening saw the annual conference gala ball. A fine event with smart outfits, quality food and sophisticated conversation. Yet someone had still invited a bunch of Rotaractors. There are two curious fundraising concepts employed at such events. Fines and Take Wine. The fines, which had been cropping up all day and announced by the Sergeant At Arms team, now reached new height, as each table had fine slips and pens provided.

The fines started early, with an announcement that Michelle would like fine all those who had bought 'get out of jail' fine-exemption passes, which saved them from all fines except those during the gala dinner. Michelle stood up and looked shocked at this insane act which would make her a fines target for all those who just sacrificed £1 to the charity pot. Mark, also of Deben, smiled cheerfully to those either side of him "you see that bullseye on her head? I put that there...". It was around this time that the annual Mark/John fine war began. "John would like to fine Mark for forgetting his cufflinks", "Mark would like to fine John for being tall", "John would like to fine Mark for forgetting the regalia"... Phil commented that this little excersise was proving quite lucrative for the conference. Take Wine is a peculiar ceremony, where a person pays money to share a toast with others in the room. Michelle, for example, took wine with all those who had been on the Rotaract ski trip that year. A charming and delightful practice, I'm sure you'll agree. Right up to the point where 'Mark would like to take wine with all the big breasted women in the room; size DD or above'. Mark, a gentleman of Deben, stood up, seeming rather embarrassed, and not knowing where (exactly) to look. He settled on Michelle, who nodded to confirm his suspicions. Soon, Phil continued with the fines... "Mark & John would like to fine Michelle, as the only one in their club to not have paid a fine, and truce is better than war". This last got a big 'arhhhh' from the room.

The evenings disco was great. Rarely are the DJs at an event so enthusiastic. As well as playing all the Rotaract favourites, they came out from their music ghetto to perform, in costume, YMCA. This is a wonderful classic which can be a delight to watch keen amateurs get dressed up for and give it all they have. This Saturday was such an occasion. Sunday would not be...

First order of business in the morning was for Sarah and Phil to issue some fines. Liz, of the conference crew, had to cough up money for being so excited about the conference, that she forgot to lift the lid up on the toilet before using it. Having clearly established the tone for day two, things got under way quite quickly. Michelle rose to the stage for the warmup routine. The superman music started up... the jacket, skirt and blouse came off... to reveal a fairly standard sports t-shirt. Not to worry though, as blond-wigged Sergeant Phil comes out in a familiar (albeit it flat chested) Supergirl outfit. Not to be outdone, Michelle quickly whips off her own t-shirt, to reveal a recognisable body-hugging lycra sports costume. Indeed, what RGBI event would be complete without a little cross dressing. Still, at least that was over with, and the serious business of conference could begin. Over the weekend, the Rotary governors for three different districts gave talks. Each of these districts had contributed Rotaractors to the conference crew. These were not the only Rotarians to be granted the honour of addressing the Rotaract conference though. Respected Rotarian of great upstanding and prestige, Dipso, gave a short talk about life after Rotaract. She was undoubtedly the best dressed speaker of the weekend, having not yet gotten changed from the previous nights gala ball. Yes, this years Wide Awake Club - the conference game of not going to sleep on Saturday night - had birthed just four bleary eyed exhibitionists to the Sunday session. They did all managed to stay awake for the day, which is more than can be said for Rotarian Kevin Farley - a conference tradition in himself.

After one speaker, all the delegates were asked to stand up, examine their name badges, and to sit down if they didn't have a little red dot. Any thoughts that this was a way to randomly pick people for some unspecified game were quickly dismissed, and the ten that were left standing were identified. Among them were Dipso, her partner in crime Terry, Michelle and Mark of Deben, Andy King and Richard Burnett. This could not be a random selection. As the rest of the conference took a coffee break, the five pairs of guys and gals were led to a large meeting room, with a huge table stacked almost full of womens clothes. A brief moment of hope was quickly dashed as the men realised that 'almost full' did not include a selection of small, blown up, balloons.

First order of business after the coffee break, was the Miss Rotaract UK competition. This was an unexpected affair, particularly to the five 'ladies' who made their way congenially through the audience, and onto the stage. Miss Take, Miss Understood, Miss Fit (you get the idea) and friends answer some brief questions, and questions about their briefs were answered by their dressers (who had been needed, as the lads in theory would not know how to put on such clothing). A clapomoter was employed to decide the voting, and Richard - Rotarian Rotaract liaison officer for Rotary in the UK & Ireland - Burnett was declared the winner. This, of course, was not the first RGBI event he had worn a dress at - the other previous one being Bournemouths Back to Front party. This was, however, the first where he thanked his daughter publicly for lending him her stockings. This is why he took the post in the RIBI council - no, not to wear his daughters underwear (he's been doing that for years), but rather for the glamour that is Rotaract. Before this weekends batch of Rotaract transvestites were allowed off-stage, it was revealed that they would only be allowed their own clothes back after performing.... YMCA. While most of the delegates enjoyed some free time in the afternoon (or "visit the bar" as it's known), one room of the hotel was taken over for an RGBI council meeting. Various officers, district chairs, and just interested Rotaractors who wanted free jelly beans, met to discuss many important aspects of Rotaract in the UK and Ireland. One particular query was put to next years RGBI president; .In your forthcoming year of office, will you be following in the footsteps of your three predecessors, and indeed of your Rotary liaison, and of many members of your council... Will you, at some point, be wearing a dress?. This question received a somewhat short answer, and so the council decided to vote on the matter. It was duly carried, and minuted.

The evenings fancy dress party was a hit with all who attended. And as with all Rotaract fancy dress parties through the years, many people seemed to go that extra mile. The Conference crew had been the bedrock of the weekends entertainment. And when they weren't messing about with water pistols or using the conference room as their private karaoke suite, they could be found preparing their costumes for the Sunday evening. Conference Co-ordinator Richard Specterman got his club swinging as Fred Flintstone, with his right-hand lady Petra as Betty Rubble. The rest of the crew were also blasted brilliantly back to the stone age... but perhaps because it would have been unsporting for them to win the fancy dress contest.

Gillian Wain and the others from district 1140 came for their May Day theme dressed as Morris Dancers... complete with dance routine. Also dancing were Dipso, Terry and Carrie from 1120, in a Latin 3-way breathtaking spectacle of grace and elegance. Debens theme had been 'Christmas Down Under', and this found John and Mark dressed in casual Ozzy beachwear, sporting Santa hats and tinsil. They also had an inflatable crocodile, also with a santa hat. Michelle had gone for a pink outfit with blond wig... a well prepared Barbie for the beach. Sadly, they had somewhat unrehersed their sketch. That is to say, they'd been unaware of the need to prepare one... and so put on their best Australlian accents and attempted to embaress themselves. Of course, some districts supply more attendees than others. District 1050 for example was only able to provide one specimen for the occasion. And so it was that Martin C was found in his airmans uniform, flying around the room to the Dambusters theme. The judges panel debated long and hard... and after eliminating 1110s Alex Hs stunning 'drinking three glasses of water' routine declared airman Martin as the winner.

No RGBI conference would be complete without a community project of some kind, and this years involved rearranging a wearhouse full of goods, for sale by the Peace Hospice in Watford. A care and support centre for terminally ill patients and their families; one of their key fundraising methods is a charity shop and ebay auction facility. So the morning saw a bunch of Rotaractors moving kart loads of books, videos, games, furniture, parms and other goods from the old storage space, to the new. Those not involved with the graft of moving all manner of goods up to and including the kitchen sink around, spent the morning assembling shelving units to store them on.

Loads of money was raised for the three charities, and the hospice very much appreciated the efforts of Rotaract. As ever at conference, a lot of fun was had by a lot of people. The hard work that had gone in by the conference crew was clearly in evidence, and everyone who went will have a weekend of memories they will not be forgetting in a hurry. And mostly for nice reasons too. Quotes (aka 'The Completely Correct" bit) "I think if I'm going to be sacrificed for something, Rotaract would be high on the list" - Gillian W "Your hair smells nice" - Dipso to Mark "What goes on in this room, stays in this room" - Martin C "Caro, can we borrow you?" - Keith "Yes" - Caro "Can you lay down on the floor." - Keith "OK" - Caro "Rotarians are clearly expendable" - Gillian W "Please do go to the town, we need your money" - Mayor "Do you own a rabbit" - Petra "Not that kind" - Mark to Michelle "This was so we could get comftable!?" - Mark "No district govener ever has anything really interesting to say" - Gillian W "How can I live without tea?" - Michelle "Hellium is my friend." - John B "I decided I could cope without the internet for a weekend" - Gavin "You havn't been damaged this conference" - Michelle to Dipso "Your nuts must have been roasting." - Phil Holt to Mark "I don't do technology, I do do beer" - Michelle "You can never have enough crossonts" - Carrie "Does anyone else want to pick something off me?" - Gillian W "This is where my bib is sort of. exposed" - Andy K "Hurry up, my legs going to fall off" - Sarah B "Remind me not to get lost in the wilderness with you" - Mark to Terry "Welcome to the wonderful world of Deben" - Paul S "I'm sorry - I'm your sidekick? You've clearly mis-understood this relationship - check the credits - my names on top!" - Mark to Mich "I find it difficult to take you seriously when your beards going like this" - Lisa to Gillian "That's the thing with Rotaract, you have to take it very seriously" Mark "I've got a hairy chest instead" - Lisa

For shorter descriptions about some of our past events, click here For full writeups of some of our other trips, enjoy; The RGBI Conference 2007 - A weekend in Watford, with Christmas Down Under and Miss Rotaract UK. Back To Front 2006 - Not an event to get cross when dressing up. Holiday in Amsterdam - Forign travel, to a city of culture. And a cool Red Light district. Banbury Camping 2006 - Christmas comes early! The Mountain Challenge weekend - The main event. 24 hours of up and down the hills. The Mountain Challenge training week in the Lake District. Getting fit for the Mountain Challenge. The RGBI Conference 2006 in the Lake District. Treasure hunt pubcrawls, presentations by Deben and the Aliens of Rendlesham Forest. The Superhero Charity Pubcrawl raised money for our Mountain Challenge Sightsavers project. The Back to Front party took Deben to Bournemouth. With lots of other Rotaractors we did stuff backwards. Banbury Camping 2005 brought 200 Rotaractors and friends together for a weekend of fun and campness. The RGBI Conference 2005 was in Bristol, and Rotaractors from all over the UK met up for the annual conference. A serious weekend, with spacehopper races. Messing Around in Boats - Debens trip on the Norfolk Broads. We'd love to hear from you if you are interested in coming to an event, or if you are a local charity or community project and would like our assistance. We'd also like to hear from you if you have any feedback on the web site. Deben Rotaract contacts: Email: enquiries@debenrotaract.org.uk Call Dan on 07740165109 or Tash on 01473721153

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