It's August bank holiday weekend, Friday. It's 6pm. Michelle and Mark get out of a car, having arrived at the Rotaract Banbury Camping Weekend. After greetings from the conference crew, they stake their place, and pitch their tents. Admiring the field full of tents, they head for a bite to eat in the canteen and catch up with a couple of friends they hadn't seen since the last RGBI event. This was to form a repeated pattern over the weekend. Fully nourished, the two Ipswich interlopers go for a walkabout, chatting with the various campers. All went well until they discover some Rotarians who have just finished inflating their sheep.

It seems that the Bloxwich Phoenix Rotary club had sent a small contingent, and erected their tents as a small village (Ashville), complete with duck pond, village bank and heard of blow-up cows. And sheep. At the village pub, 'The Slaughtered Calf', they are introduced to the village mascot, a small teddy bear. Backing away slowly our two friends seek out saner company. But find Rotaractors instead. There was also a hyper-springer spaniel running around the place, who was marginally less barking mad than most of the Rotaract campers.

At the opening ceremony, the much advertised VIP turned out to be RGBI Bosslady Lisa. Despite her prestigious position, for the rest of the evening Lisa was on security guard duty checking peoples wristbands on their way into the party. This was why she took the top job; the glamour. Drinks, music and dancing ensued. Fill in the gaps yourself - this writer is saving his literary skills for the fancy dress event on the following night. Awaking to the singing tones of camp organiser Emma (she's not that camp really), followed shortly by a mix of applause and shouts that she'd stay off the mike, Mark and Michelle - neither of whom are what you'd describe as 'morning people' - groan their way into fresh clothes, and prepare for breakfast. An announcement comes over the tannoy offering a prize for the first girl to come to the hut with some blokes underwear. Michelle runs towards it waving Marks Union Jack boxer shorts in her hands. She is disqualified on the grounds that Mark is still wearing them. Squeaking a bit Mark coaxes Michelle away from the lost prize and towards the canteen. After scoffing down her sausage sandwich, Michelle does her Oliver Twist impression and asks for more. This was also to form a repeated pattern. The Dynamic Duo were excited this morning by the weekends treasure hunt. Running around they quickly located the various gangster pictures. Not faring so well with the gangster quiz (do we spot a theme here?), they politely refused the offer of Bournemouth Rotaract to join them for a visit to the library. Bournemouth were later announced as the winners of the quiz round. Where the Suffolk Searchers did a little better was the 'treasure' round. 'The Union Jack flag'... Mark had that one covered, or vice versa. While trying to find a 'soft toy' our two friends wandered into the Ashville village and attempted to rent one of their sheep. They were refused. After chatting with Emma (respectable organiser) they go back in to grass her up for suggesting they steal the village mascot. Our friends had hoped to be lent the bear for their snitching, but unfortunately, someone had already walked off with it. The next Rotarians down were much more helpful, and our heroes were merrily lent a stuffed dormouse, on condition it was returned in time for the Mad Hatters Tea party. Alas, no one had 'fingerless gloves' and nobody - the rotten spoilsports - was prepared to donate a pair of normal gloves. A raid on the kitchen soon provided marrigolds for the needed hand-wear. A rummage in Marks car provided 'a shell' (bullet keyring), required 'hairdryer' was substitued for by a towel, but as for the 'fluffy dice of nodding dog'... It took some time to coax the IQ-deprived spaniel over to the hut, but a good shake later and it was nodding away. Had there been a prize for the most creative items brought back, they would have been sure to win it. Sadly, the pairs attempt at a passport was flawed. The bar was out of port. Passing some rum between them didn't fool Emma, who had clearly spent enough time around ports to easily identify rum.

Following the treasure hunt the Deben delegates dropped the dormouse off at the Mad Hatters Tea party. This delightful tea and cakes fund-raiser was run by Terry and Dipso of Eltham Phoenix Rotary. In a last minute change of plan, Terry had decided to wear the Hatter outfit, leaving the Alice costume to his friend.

After pausing for this afternoon snack, M & M realised they were late... Late! (small white rabbit joke there, in case anyone missed it) late for the weekends community event. The campsite is owned and used by the Scouts normally, and in the woods they have a small open churchlike area. But this was in need of rescue from nature. About 40 Rotaractors and a couple of hours effort later some trees had been chainsawed down, rubble cleared, steps repaired and the area was fit for use once more. Camp caretaker Snowy (he's not that camp really) was well chuffed with the results. The time approached for the Gangsters and Molls Ball. Michelle donned her hat, Mark applied mascara to his recently grown moustache... Lapel roses in place, they loaded up with their various armaments. Not since Ra went on holiday has anyone packed so much heat.

Taking in the place, Mark adjusts his pistol and sweeps his eyes around the marquee, checking the place for danger and dolls. "Looks clean. Looks sweet", he drawls. Michelle thumps his arm and tells him to drop the accent now or she'll drop him. "Sure thing, sugar". Thump. Marks arm was to be somewhat bruised by the end of the night. Keeping jaws firmly clamped round a pair of fake cigars, the two Ipswich mafia wannabies make their way over to the blackjack tables. Glancing briefly at the queens on the table, and briefly at the queens on the dance floor (an alarming amount of cross dressing had taken place, although most, but not all, involved the ladies and Michelle togged up in suits and hats) his eyes perked up at the fancy outfits some of the dames were wearing, "Woe", Mark commented to no one in particular, "last time I saw this many boas it was at the zoo, Sugar". Thump.

Our two Great Godfathers did surprisingly well at the tables. Surprising as neither of them had the faintest idea how it all worked, but this didn't stop them winning big at both blackjack and on the roulette wheel. Eventualy though, the music called and the gangsters paradise awaited. The bar also did good business, with the cocktails flowing like a peacocks backside. As the night drew in, Michelle joined a silent raid on the Ashville village and nabbed a sheep. And just for the sheer fun of it the quiet rustlers hoisted it up a flagpole. What baaad behaviour. Sunday morning. As Mark stumbles into the washroom pleasantly surprised by the fairly complete memory of the night before, he glances down to discover a heavily bruised arm and a gun in his washbag. "Man, how drunk was I?". Back at Camp Deben another explanation occurs to him... "Michelle...?" As the early afternoon drifted pleasantly by, Michelle joined in a football match, Mark was berated by Rotarian Phil, who still blames him for chipping his shoulder bone during the conference space hopper race [Phil, I'm sorry, but if you will insist on trying to keep up with Rotaractors what do you expect? - ed], and the inflatable sheep was joined on it's flagpole by a cow. Then the call came out for Welly Wanging.

It was the much anticipated sporting event of the weekend. A simple game, for simple people; the aim - to hurl a rubber boot as far as possible. This was shorty amended to hurling it in a particular direction after the footloose Michelle took her shot, rapid firing a pair of Gillians best black bog-wanderers, and striking a firm hit on the marquee. After this pretty in tents demonstration of giving it some welly the competition for the much coveted Golden Welly awards got serious. With the notable exception of Rotaractor Kevin who, upon using his foot to boot it one, picked up the award for 'Most Unique Wanging'.

After cheering the winners, Adam and Bev (both of whom had really put their hearts and soles into the contest) Mark and Michelle made their way over for some afternoon drinks with Dipso and Terry. Remembering that the Ann Summers party was about to start, the girls left the chaps swapping jokes and headed off. Three hours of debauchery and shopping later, they returned to find the chaps still swapping jokes. It seems that a total of £500 was spent at the girls-only get-together, so the A.S. girl is sure to come again next year. It also made a good chip in to the £2000 raised over the weekend for the British Lung Foundation. As the day drew to a end, the closing ceremony took place. Awards for best fancy dress (Dipso & Terry) and various rounds on the treasure hunt. When an award for 'the most creative items' brought back was annonced, the duo from Deben started smiling before their names were spoken. There were presentations for Conference 2006 - Ain't No Mountain High Enough - and Conference 2007 (wow - planning in advance here). Then the evening party began. The bar staff had a problem though. A fridge full of booze, and only the one night to part with it all. "Half price" and "Two for the price of one" offers were soon combined. Michelle got out her Fire Poi, and following cries of 'goodness gracious great balls of fire!' started spinning them around her head, much to the entertainment of a gathering crowd. Then somebody realised this was the person who'd chucked a welly at the marquee, and the crowd started to retreat to what they hoped was a safe distance.

Fire was indeed going to be a feature of the night, as various groups started merging around the various camp fires, wielding a variety of tools - wooden skewers, metal prongs and screwdrivers - in order to partake in the traditional toasting of marshmallows. Songs were sung (badly), jokes were told (bad ones) and pink gloups of sugar were toasted (burnt).

"mumble mumble... rhubarb rhubarb... and the first eleven feedback forms returned to the hut will receive a bottle of bubbly". A sudden excitement of competition stirred the prize hungry Michelle out of slumber. Usual groans of semi-consciousness were today yelps of semi-consciousness; "find a form, get a pen... run up'. On her return with alcohol Mark too brought himself into the light. Aproaching the canteen for breakfast they encounter further walking adverts for the next years conference, and a reminder that if they sign up now, they get entered into a contest for a meal for two. Barely pausing to borrow a pen, their names are down. Leaving Michelle to her happy thoughts of wining prizes, Mark wanders off to the hut for no particular reason. Moments later, Emma announces a new competition "If Michelle can get to the hut in 30 seconds, she wins a prize". Toilet paper streaming, Michelle gasps her way in, to be delighted by yet another medal. The girl would put Mutely to shame. Emma comments that they still have prizes to give away, so Mark and Michelle 'help' in coming up with ways to given them away. But much to their sorrow, it was a bloke who won the 'first person to come in topless' prize. Entertained, delighted and exhausted, Mark and Michelle made their goodbyes to their Rotaract friends and got in the car to drive home. "So", one said to the other. "Conference!". They drove back happy.

Further links; The Banbury Gallery on the Deben web page. The RGBI site for lots more exciting UK wide events. The Banbury Camping 2006 site. More Deben Writeups; The RGBI Conference 2007 - A weekend in Watford, with Christmas Down Under and Miss Rotaract UK. Back To Front 2006 - Not an event to get cross when dressing up. Holiday in Amsterdam - Forign travel, to a city of culture. And a cool Red Light district. Banbury Camping 2006 - Christmas comes early! The Mountain Challenge weekend - The main event. 24 hours of up and down the hills. The Mountain Challenge training week in the Lake District. Getting fit for the Mountain Challenge. The RGBI Conference 2006 in the Lake District. Treasure hunt pubcrawls, presentations by Deben and the Aliens of Rendlesham Forest. The Superhero Charity Pubcrawl raised money for our Mountain Challenge Sightsavers project. The Back to Front party took Deben to Bournemouth. With lots of other Rotaractors we did stuff backwards. Banbury Camping 2005 brought 200 Rotaractors and friends together for a weekend of fun and campness. The RGBI Conference 2005 was in Bristol, and Rotaractors from all over the UK met up for the annual conference. A serious weekend, with spacehopper races. Messing Around in Boats - Debens trip on the Norfolk Broads. We'd love to hear from you if you are interested in coming to an event, or if you are a local charity or community project and would like our assistance. We'd also like to hear from you if you have any feedback on the web site. Deben Rotaract contacts: Email: enquiries@debenrotaract.org.uk Call Dan on 07740165109 or Tash on 01473721153

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