Day 0 - "The Terror of Travel" Please note. This journal of the first day, prior to actual reaching Amsterdam, may seem excessively long at first glance. If the thought of Champaign breakfasts, nervous pregnant women and terrorist attacks bores you, please skip to day 1. The adventure begins in Ipswich. Five Rotaractors from the Deben club assemble at the railway station around 9am. Jumping on a train Alan, Claire, Michelle, Jess & Mark sit themselves down on the floor in the carriage. This isn't due to a lack of seating, but Rotaractors know their place. Michelle quickly extracts a small bag from her rucksack. It is a small note that most of the group are kitted out with rucksacks rather than suitcases. These, combined with their wet weather gear and Mountain Rescue pin-badges are leftovers from their Mountain Challenge earlier in the year. While that expedition was to involve hiking up great heights and eating what food they could while pelting round the country at great speeds, this trip was intended to be a purely casual and relaxing holiday.

From her bag, Michelle retrieves a carefully prepared breakfast for the group, which they eat while the train pelted southwards at as great a speed as British trains can. While this may show foresight, there was a definite flaw in the plan. The strawberries were opened, and the champagne pored (when Deben do breakfast, they really do breakfast), but they had hardly been tasted when the announcement came that the train was about to pull into Manningtree. As the feasting five needed to change trains there, they re-packed, and quickly drank up (this last probably being responsible for the upcoming adoption) and departed. Hopping on the next train they settled themselves down for the remaining distance to Harwich. During the cheerful chatting that followed it was noticed that their little group was drawing attention, in particular from a youthful blond lady with a suitcase. As they disembarked, the group learned she was also heading to Amsterdam, and promptly invited her to share the journey with them. During the ferry crossing, Jess picked up a 'speak Dutch' book while browsing in the giftshop, and expanded her not insignificant grasp of the language by learning the phrase 'Stop or I'll scream'. Alan and Mark puzzled and worried, firstly over why a tourist book should feature such a phase, and also as to why Jess felt the need to learn it. After arriving in Holland (or, as the locals insists it is really called 'The Netherlands'), the travelling six are told by the waiting train guard that there are no direct trains to Amsterdam, and they must take the one over there, and change. A small surprise, given their careful research, but no great problem. After changing trains, the Debenites and Vicki settle themselves down for the journey to the capital. Vicki it turns out has never left Norfolk before and is pregnant. After some time, the train does what British trains are known to do - it stops in the middle of the countryside for no readily apparent reason. Fortunately, the local attitude is that it's important to keep the customer informed, and so an announcement was put over the tannoy to the effect the train has stopped, and they are not sure why. This is clearly good news, as it fits the criteria of 'no news'. The wait continues. Vicki mentions she needs a cigarette, but she's trying to remain calm. Various further tannoy announcements, and personal greetings from touring train personal add to the groups knowledge; there are people messing about on the track. Paul, a South African Dutchman, who was soon to regret choosing the same compartment as five Rotaractors and a Norfolk girl about to enter the calm sided of panic. It seems the 'people messing about' are actually terrorists, and the police helicopters are circling. Our Rotaract friends show their true steel under such circumstances, and break open Michelles emergency supply of chocolate. Vicki starts to relax a little more, but she is ever fiddling with her lighter, and talking increasingly loudly, which disturbs Alan slightly as he realises he has nowhere to move to. After some time, the police retreat, having presumably removed the terrorist threat. Unfortunately, as the train conductors state appologeticly, they have not been given permission to move, and so must remain where they are. All this conducted information is filtering through the joint translations of Jess, the conductor and Paul. The conductor asks if Paul is with the rest of the group. "We're together now", Claire informs him. This is slightly misunderstood by the conductor who informs her that certain train personal are authorised to conduct marriage ceremonies. While this is assumed to be a joke, everyone is quite glad when the train starts backing up to the previous station, and they can depart, ready to board a different train. Vicki is particularly glad of the opportunity to get into the open air, and Paul hastily blags her a cigarette. Boarding another train, the Rotaractors pelted accross the remainder of the country, eventually reaching Amsterdam. The future of Vicki and Paul will remain a mystery. Probably forever. Another mystery was how to get to the youth hostel the gang had booked. They take a tram. Semi-local Jess worked the ticket system out, so they all sat back to enjoy the final leg of the journey to their new home. En route, they chat to an ex-British resident of the city. He directs them to an Irish bar which he quite likes. The five friends figure that they didn't come all the way to Amsterdam just to sit in an Irish bar, and depart the tram to enjoy the very short walk to the hostel. Not much was known about the hostel, other than some very basic information on a website, and various comments from previous guests about the steep stairs. Theyy enter the main door and look up. And up. They noted the handrail and carpet which were attached to the slightly sloped ladder in front of them. After what felt like the mountain challenge all over again they climbed to the first floor and checked in at reception. The girls room was on the second floor. The boys' on the third. The reason for it being this way round was that the girls wanted less 'stairs' to climb. A quick meal at a dodgy Italian restaurant opposite, and the Deben delinquents settled down for the night, ready for their day of Dutch delights on the morrow. After climbing the great height to their rooms. Day 1 - "Rembrandt Who?" All keen and ready to play the role of Tourist, the roving Rotaractors get their abseiling gear together and go downstairs. Walking towards the town, they realize that it'd be best to pick an activity that Pete, who wouldn't be arriving until later in the day, is unlikely to want to do. They rapidly rule out the Heineken museum and red light zone, settling on a reasonable bet of Rembrandts house. Looking up at the actual building where the great artist lived, Mark can't help but comment at the giant self portrait displayed for all to see. "Is it just me, or does he look just like Tom Baker?" Avoiding the impending debate on which had the greatest influence on modern culture, they enter the museum/art gallery.

There is art there. Leaving the art gallery/museum, the group make it about 30 meters, before stopping for a drink. Jess introduces her fellows to the delight that is Chocomel; a kind of chocolate milk. Their drinks are drunk (even if, at this point, the group is not), and they sit back and admire the beauty that is Amsterdam. A brief wander through the outskirts of the town shopping center, and they stop for another drink. (Anyone would think this was a Rotaract trip). Mark decides to pass on the alcohol, and instead orders a Chocomel with a chocolate pancake. There is a curious taste to the chocolate sauce which Mark can't quite identify. Passing some to Michelle to try, she identifies it, while it is still a meter away. Amaretto. "Is there a lot of Amaretto in there?" he queries, as a passing smoker inadvertently ignites the air above the table. After enough pancake to put several small elephants over the driving limit, the gang take the obligatory wander around a flower market (another safe bet for a Pete-less activity) before finding their way to the Irish pub which the nice man from the tram had mentioned. Pete's own journey to Amsterdam had not been entirely uneventful. Heavy delays on his flight taking off were due to a stowaway. Several announcements from the cabin crew along the lines of "There's an extra person on board. If you're not going to Holland, you're on the wrong plane." eventually yielded a somewhat embarrassed man taking his leave, thus allowing the plane to. Further confusion about where to get off the tram, and how to get to the Irish pub (he was carefully following Michelles directions) led Pete to settle by the bar and order a drink. In the wrong pub. Another phone call later, and he walks in the door of Mulligans; a simple activity, but one which causes the Debenites to cheer like the studio-audience from an American sit-com. At this point, everyone else in the pub realizes that some great celebrity has walked in and join with riotous applause. Pete smiles uncertainly, raises a hand to wave, frowns and puts his suitcase down by his friends table. By the time they are ready to leave, the trams have stopped running, so they decide to walk home. Getting lost, our fearless friends stop for a few minutes to pick on some unsuspecting tourists, Michelle uses her best French to ask directions. The Germans are briefly confused, but decide English is probably the language to respond in, and put our friends back on the right path. Day2 - "Ooh er misses"

Deciding to give the hostels breakfast delight a miss, the waking wanderers choose to eat out for the first meal of the day before making for the botanical gardens. They stay for longer than average in the butterfly house, as a giant Lepidoptera decides that Pete is its new mate (and not in a 'blokes down the pub' way). Just short of developing a phobia, he escapes with the others to wander round the gardens. There is much disappointment, for all bar Jess, in the groups inability to find a particular plant they had read about in the brochure. "This lily pad is so strong, it can support the weight of a small child." After further admiring the various exotic plants, and having a mid morning break in the coffee shop (ie - a shop in the gardens that sold coffee), the gang head into town. Unable to contain themselves the touring troupe aim for the Red Light district. Surprisingly, they actually get lost finding it, but some determined effort gets them to the right spot. As in the manner of a English squire trying to raise more pheasants for the shoot, the gang beat around the bush outside the Erotic Museum, deciding whether to venture inside. Jess comes down firmly on the side of it looking rather scary and vulgar. Michelle and Claire can't wait to get into it, and Alan says that, as he's been before, he and Jess could take a wander somewhere else. Mark and Pete politely, and for no other reason, escort the ladies [find more appropriate word - Editor] into the four floor exhibition. This includes many sculptures of eroticism, various photos of the same, a variety of excitingly posed mannequins and a gift shop which most decent citizens would require a guide book to identify the various items. The climax of the exhibits were on the top floor, and included seaside-style cut-outs to put your head through for exciting pictures. Alan and Jess go to a strange café they had seen, which looked like a small round-towered castle in a city square. After a glass of red wine they head out for a walk. Wandering around the nearby streets they experience a vague feeling that they've forgotten something. Upon withdrawing from the museum the Amsterdam explorers make their way back to the castle café, Michelle pausing only to smile and wave at the pretty girls in the windows. Claire marvels at how they must have faulty air conditioning turned up to full heat; why else would they be dressed like that in their own homes? Arriving at the castle café, they see no sign of Alan or Jess. A quick phone call reveals that they are hurrying back. A moment later they appear, and dive straight inside without saying a word to their friends. It seems that even the waiter calling after them on their previous visit had given them no clue that they'd not paid, and they had decided to feel guilty about this.

Bonnie and Clyde show the other four to a 'dark and mysterious' bar they'd found during their crime spree. This turns out to be a very old-fashioned (albeit it Monkey themed) pub, with the one landlord in Holland who didn't seem to speak English. Still, he understood 'bring us beer' well enough, and was even able to cope with 'bring us Malibu and diet-coke', after the first half dozen (successful) attempts. Sadly 'bring us wine' seemed to translate as 'bring us the nastiest vinegar you possess'.

Despite them having entered with a vague plan of just stopping for a quick drink... 120 euros and one sunset later, the slightly tiddly Rotaractors staggered back to the youth hostel. Pausing only for three hours in another bar for cocktails, and to allow the girls to chat up some Dutch architects. Day3 - "Frankly, we're lost." Four of the pack had planned an early start today, in order to get to Anne Franks house nice and early, having been told that crowds and queues are likely later on. So Alan, Jess, Michelle and Pete fight the effects of the night before and leave the hostel at 9am in order to appreciate the a particular piece of the city's history. Mark and Claire have a lay-in, having been Anne Franked out from previous experience. At around 11 they get up to go for a Chocomel breakfast commenting on how relaxed the holiday has been so far. Meanwhile, the four on early morning pilgrimage have made one fatal error in their plan. They elected Michelle to navigate them from one part of the city to another. In all fairness, she did get them to exactly where she was aiming for. It just turned out that Anne Franks house was nowhere near. Clearly one of the reasons Anne Franks family remained hidden from the Nazis for so long was that the place is very difficult to find, although presumably the Germans did not have Michelle to assist them, which may explain their eventual discovery of the house. (This reporter makes a quick check to see if there is anyone he's not offended in the previous paragraph. Nazis, Germans, the Jews and Michelle. Nope got the lot. Still, two out of four are fair game.) They arrive at midday. There is a crowd and quite a queue. They give up, deciding to try again tomorrow. The split-six merge together once more at the Van Gough museum. Jess is particularly looking forward to the 500+ sketches which are displayed. Unfortunately, these are displayed on the 1st floor, which is currently closed for refurbishment work. Fortunately, some are replicated in the gift shop, so she peruses them there, which is almost as good. (Isn't it?). As well as dodgy pictures with dots and weird sunflowers and the like, there is also a Japanese art exhibition. This featured a wide selection of paintings, photos, pottery and clothes. Returning back to the hostel, and conquering the stairs, the Debonair Debenites decide to dress up for the evening. They have a wander and find an Indonesian restaurant - this being a speciality of Amsterdam - and dine in style. Their plan to go to a jazz club for the evening is cut short when Alan falls ill from the weird pepper sauce of dinner, so they return back to base. Day 4 - "Diamonds are a girls best friend" Another early start for the Anne Frank Amsterdam tour group. And this time they actually make it. Claire and Mark also waste no time in getting up. Their plan - to go to the Heineken brewery for the tourist tour. Helpfuly, they recalled the others had said it was near the Anne Frank house. There was of course the small detail that, in a show of co-ordination and planning, all of the tram and tourist maps were with the other party. But the dynamic duo were fairly sure, roughly, where Anne Franks house was, so hopped on a tram heading in that direction. It seems that part of Amsterdam exists in a weird dimensional pocket, because, as they approached the end of the line, they realised they had not found it. Jumping off to get their bearings, they discover they're on the outskirts of the city. Alan receives a phone call, asking where his group are. He explains they've just finished Anne Frank's house, and are in a café. A plan is formed to meet back in the city centre. Claire and Mark jump on the next centre-bound tram - and find the conductor is the same as the one they came out on, who is mildly confused as to what these two tram-trotters are up to. Come early afternoon, the groups are reunited, and head off to visit a diamond centre. The Rotaractors stand and admire the various diamond workers doing their jobs. They are displayed like zoo-animals behind protective screens. Whether this is protect the public from the diamond dust flying off their machines, or to protect them from the diamond-hungry public is unclear. A couple of tours start up, almost simultaneously, and after a brief summary in the zoo-room, the Rotaractors follow their guide into a "Don't worry, but we're just locking the door behind you" room to see some real diamonds up close. Well, most of the Rotaractors... Pete and Jess took a wrong turn and ended up with a group where the tour was in Russian. The main party were shown several diamonds close up, with our bunch of Debenites smirking quietly at the repeated conversation of an American and the diamond-mistress. Following a prod from his wife, he would ask "Say, er, how much is that one?", "That would be 4000 Eruos, sir", "Oh, er, right. OK. Er... How much is that in dollars?" Meanwhile Jess and Pete were repeatedly asked something in foreign, so just kept nodding and smiling. Realising they were not with the party, the Russians polietly locked them out of the locked room, and the diamondless duo were left lurking in the corridor, trying to appear inconspicous. They made their way to the diamond gift shop, where again they were asked questions in forign, but this time had the good sense to shake their heads and smile.

Returning from the diamond quarter, the Debenites briefly stop to admire a variety of jugglers, performers and still life statues in Dam square. On return to the hostel, they stop in the Rembrandts bar for a drink, and to wait for Michelle and Pete. These two had decided (read: Michelle decided, and Pete kept her company) to sample some of the more infamous offerings of Amsterdam. And there was not a red light in sight. Having quickly scoffed down some cake they join the others in the artists drinking house. There is a little amusement at the sign in the window explaining to potential visitors that this is not the Rembrandt museum, and they should go next door for it. However, the separate menu detailing the various Baileys drinks on offer caused the girls specifically much delight. Pete's eyes seemed glazed, and in general he's a little spaced out. Michelle on the other hand appeared to have been effected by her latest "must do before I'm 30" list item. They leave that bar, and stop at another a little nearer the hostel. General comments are made by those present about how their holidays don't seem to revolve around endless time spent in pubs. Alan looks perplexed and comments that most of his holidays seem to have solely been spent revolving around endless pub time. The group decide to try the Japanese restaurant across the road. All except Michelle, who, while being completely unaffected by any cakes she may or may not of had, believes she has caught the bug which Alan had the day before, and so will be sitting the meal out. In fact, she might go off to bed now and leave the others in the pub, if that's ok? The others agree it's ok. The evening ends to the screams of Claire, as she mistakenly believes that quantities used in the application ketchup are similar to those used for wasabi. They are not. Day 5 - "A day of resting" Everyone got up and ready to head into town. Alan suggested breakfast at a 'special muffin place' he knew of. Michelle started to look ill, until realising he just meant that the muffins there were really nice. After breakfast, the six scoundrels try to find one of the famed Amsterdam canal boat tours. On the way there the girls insist on walking through the Begijnhof - a famous grassed courtyard surrounded by houses, with a small church. Alan is with the girls on this one, but Pete and Mark just can't see what the fuss is about.

Several attempts are made to find the canal boats. Mostly, but not all, centred around the canals. Despite a group search, and splitting into teams, the failed explorers give in and admit defeat. Going their separate ways once more, Alan and Claire find themselves in the Rijkmuseum, pausing every so often so Claire can lie down on a bench for a sleep. Michelle and Mark go for a wander round the city... pausing every so often so Michelle can lie down on a bench for a sleep. Pete and Jess win the award for actually staying awake, despite only occasionally moving from cafe to cafe, to bar, to monkey bar, thus negating the need to actually excerpt much effort.

Everyone meets up at the Pancake Corner cafe. They pause for a while, but decide that pancakes are not 'foreign' enough for the holiday, so head off for a drink in the Irish bar. Deciding that food would actually be a good idea at some point, the group split up once more to eat what food they could. This involved Michelle trying street-wok cooked food, and Jess going to a sandwich bar. Proudly, she orders in Dutchspeak, and hardly panics at all when they query details with her order... fortunately, years of study come together to provide the answers, and she leaves having fooled the owners into thinking she's a local. Or loco, they were too polite to say. The guys (a term which now includes Claire for no readily apparent reason) decide enough's enough with all this fancy foreign stuff, and no they're not messing around with any silly vegetarian nonsense. So, with demands of "Meat! Bring us MEAT!" they dive into the nearest American-style steakhouse, and devour the menu. Discovering this to be paper and plastic, they then order their meals. They meet up once more in the place they call home. The Irish bar, for a (almost) final drink out in Amsterdam. By this time, the regulars (er, the non-Rotaract regulars) have stopped cheering when Pete walks in the door. Although the barman can't help but smile at what he recognises as good business. The science experiment that had been taking place all week was once and for all confirmed. The shortest measurable amount of time is the intervel between a Malibu and diet coke being placed in front of Jess, and the disapearence of the drink. Having done their bit for science, our Rotaract friends returned once more to their high-rise accomadation. Day 6 - "The Return" It is perhaps fortunate, that the events of the day spent returning to England, were not quite as eventful as those spent travelling out. But it makes for poor storytelling. Only so much can be said about the EXCITEMENT of the tram ride to the station. Few words can describe the MADNESS that was ordering a drink in the cafe opposite the station, before ordering more drinks in the outside-downstairs section of the same cafe, in order to enjoy the view of the canal (watching the tour boats drive by). A short essay could no doubt be written about the INSANITY that is the left-luggage lockers, where Pete was to leave his suitcase for the day (he was to catch a late plane back, rather than the midday boat with the others). The till-receit of Claire and Jess's 'stock-up-on-chocolate trip to the supermarket' would no doubt rival War and Peace in length, but probably not in narrative and so is not included here. Michelles final meal in Amsterdam being Fish 'N Chips will no doubt reveal much to historians of the future, but only tells us in the here and now what we've always known about Michelle. Truly, it was AMUSING, and slightly concerning, that the girl at the ferry check in was happy to let Mark through on Alan's passport, while Alan was almost refused entry when using his own. And mild PERPLEXITY was caused by the ships choice of in-voyage movie - The Poseidon Adventure. But other than that, not much happened. Fortunately, everyone returned safely, one way or another. Quotes (aka 'This real bit') "Don't hurt yourselves; Jess will have you amputated before you can say 'ow' " - Claire "Stop fanning Petes crotch" - Alan to Claire "That was the morning activity. Being unwashed." - Mark "That's fair, that's grand, that's well horny" - Michelle "I think I must be getting old 'cos I quite like sitting" - Pete "They're not really trying - they could have made the lights out of meat" - Alan "My dressing gown fastens at the front" - Mark "Oh, you prostitute" - Claire "I would buy them for you myself, but I'm tight" - Michelle "I'm not going to céilidhs that involve satsumers" - Alan "Where did this theological stuff come from?" - Mark "My drink" - Claire "I just wanted to nut the guy. I have that tendency" - Pete "Get all living things out of the way" - Jess "You make the bed move far too much Mark" - Claire to Mark "You're all wrong because I'm right" - Michelle "'The famous five get drunk on champaign' I don't remember that one" - Alan "Are you sure? It was written by Enid Blatted" - Mark "I have the attention span of a flee" - Claire "Got to look nice for sex later" - Jess "I don't want to see you in the buff" - Mark to Alan "Where were we when we were here?" - Pete "I wasn't planning to screw as we walked" - Mark to Michelle" "I've just turned into a raving child" - Jess "Do you often wear wine Alan?" - Claire "I read a book" - Michelle *appliuase* - All "Oh, you've all started looking like people again" - Mark "Oh Pete, you've got trousers on" - Claire "I'll have to admit defeat, the lettuce has beat me" - Jess "This is a mans coke" - Mark "I thought it was getting dark outside, but it was just me closing my eyes" - Michelle

More Deben Writeups; The RGBI Conference 2007 - A weekend in Watford, with Christmas Down Under and Miss Rotaract UK. Back To Front 2006 - Not an event to get cross when dressing up. Holiday in Amsterdam - Forign travel, to a city of culture. And a cool Red Light district. Banbury Camping 2006 - Christmas comes early! The Mountain Challenge weekend - The main event. 24 hours of up and down the hills. The Mountain Challenge training week in the Lake District. Getting fit for the Mountain Challenge. The RGBI Conference 2006 in the Lake District. Treasure hunt pubcrawls, presentations by Deben and the Aliens of Rendlesham Forest. The Superhero Charity Pubcrawl raised money for our Mountain Challenge Sightsavers project. The Back to Front party took Deben to Bournemouth. With lots of other Rotaractors we did stuff backwards. Banbury Camping 2005 brought 200 Rotaractors and friends together for a weekend of fun and campness. The RGBI Conference 2005 was in Bristol, and Rotaractors from all over the UK met up for the annual conference. A serious weekend, with spacehopper races. Messing Around in Boats - Debens trip on the Norfolk Broads. We'd love to hear from you if you are interested in coming to an event, or if you are a local charity or community project and would like our assistance. We'd also like to hear from you if you have any feedback on the web site. Deben Rotaract contacts: Email: enquiries@debenrotaract.org.uk Call Dan on 07740165109 or Tash on 01473721153

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